Nas & Kelis

This post is NOT JUST about Nas and Kelis BUT, their situation has triggered me to discuss some issues that I feel are important within the black community. Nas and Kelis (the nature of their relationship, whether true or false) will represent other black couples who ALSO experience TOXIC behavior such as physical abuse or any other kind of abuse that could be detrimental to ones being. 

Let’s get into it.

 

While I have never experienced physical abuse in a relationship, I have experienced physical abuse outside of one. In my relationship with men I have experienced mental and spiritual abuse but either way as a victim of them both I still understand.

So let me tell you what makes me angry about this whole situation and which is the real reason why I decided to write this post.

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT WENT ON IN NAS AND KELI’S HOME BUT THE ONES WHO LIVED THERE. 

WHO IS TO SAY WHO IS LYING?

For people, MAJORITY of them being men to say “Oh here we go again with this, another money hungry chick just looking for attention” is RIDICULOUS WHEN IN REALITY YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT THERE. Why can’t Nas be the one who is lying? How come every woman that breaks her silence is after money or attention???

WHY WHEN BLACK WOMAN CRY FOR HELP NO ONE HELPS US?

Did you ever think that maybe Kelis and MANY other women who experience abuse FEARED their LIFE? Have you ever been abused?

Have you ever been in a situation where someone was violating you and you couldn’t do anything to protect yourself?

I HAVE.

AND I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SILENT BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID.

AFRAID OF WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT SAY, THINK OR WHAT YOUR ABUSER MIGHT DO TO YOU.

I don’t know what went on in Nas and Kelis’s relationship but I do know this. IT’S NOT EASY TO SPEAK ABOUT IT. AND IT’S DEFINITELY NOT EASY GOING THROUGH IT. SO before you judge a woman on speaking out about someone that harmed her you need to re-evaluate your response and think before you speak NON SENSE.

Out of all people, the black woman seems to be at the bottom of the barrel in life and ALL things. We are treated the worst, looked down upon and disregarded like we mean NOTHING.

And the saddest part its… it’s mainly by our OWN MEN. 

The black man SHOULD love us, protect us and so forth but instead SO MANY black women come out saying they were ABUSED, MISTREATED, RAPED AND THE ONES WHO ARE NOT HERE TO TELL THEIR STORY, KILLED.

Abuse can cripple you, silence you and can make you feel worthless. So for the women that do come out and speak on it, I HIGHLY COMMEND them because it takes COURAGE and STRENGTH to be able to speak about something that could have literally killed you. When you are constantly being beaten, raped, molested, etc it changes the way you think, react etc. YOU ARE NOT THE SAME AND YOU DO NOT THINK THE SAME AS YOU USED TO. Even if the person DOES NOT KILL YOU, it can STILL HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH EFFECT ON YOU TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE.

That’s where depression starts… and if you are not aware, depression kills, your thoughts can KILL. The mind is a dangerous thing.

Nas and Kelis’s relationship might have appeared to be intact and they MIGHT have looked happy BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY WERE HAPPY.

My life looks intact to many on social media and many people think I live a happy life but I AM NOT HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T BEEN FOR SOME YEARS NOW.

I have BAD anxiety and I suffer from depression as well. Every single day is a struggle for me. Sometimes my goals are just STAYING ALIVE UNTIL TOMORROW. Even if I don’t blog or achieve any of my other goals I AM HAPPY I SURVIVED TO SEE ANOTHER DAY.

Don’t judge people based on what they CHOOSE to disclose to you, you have NO idea what they are dealing with behind closed doors.

Whether Kelis is lying or not we should all wait to see how her situation plays out BEFORE we judge her and say she is another “Money hungry chick looking for attention”

I’m praying for healing for all my brothers and sisters.

Peace ya’ll.

 

*Images provided by Google*

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Nas & Kelis

  1. Great read. I believed Kelis in the interview. She left while she was pregnant, which tells me most of what I needed to know about the situation. Speak out when it happens and you aren’t believed. Speak out years later and you’re ridiculed for waiting so long. Bottom line, we’ve got some serious work to do in the community in terms of protecting women.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!!!
      And I believe her as well, how she explained him being dark stood out to me also. It says a lot as well…
      And yeah it’s sad woman don’t win whether they speak or wait to speak which to me is no ones business anyways.
      Unless you know what it’s like to be a victim I think people need to keep their opinions to themselves.

      Like

  2. The black woman’s mental health should be on a pedestal. We have to go through so many microagressions just to survive. My heart goes out to Kelis because I know it wasn’t easy. I remember throughout the course of their custody battle, she was painted out to be “crazy,” “going off the deep end,” and “money hungry.” Although we don’t know what happened exactly between the two of them, for her to come out and say that he beat her and not be slammed with a defamation suit is telling. Ahem.

    Dom | http://www.DivaNamedDom.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I completely agree!!!
      We are on the back burner and it’s simply NOT OK. As I get older it only pisses me off more. I mean look what is happening in today’s society. Black woman are openly getting mentally and physically abused and no one is paying for it !!!!
      Our black men don’t even or sometimes can’t even protect us.
      I am also praying for Kelis as well.
      In the interview she said she moved on from Nas and is now married. I just hope she’s healing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I did here about the whole situation with Kelis and Nas a little while back and it’s just like you said, no one really knows what happened except the people who were there. No matter what we, society says, it still trickles back down to opinions. I hate that automatically, we as black women, are always looked at so negatively. Yes, of course, there are money-hungry chicks out there, but then again there’s women who want justice as well. There is nothing wrong with that. We should seek justice if we have been wronged, but others will have us feeling like, ‘What’s the use?’ if we are always stigmatized for it. “Don’t judge people based on what they CHOOSE to disclose to you, you have NO idea what they are dealing with behind closed doors.” I had to learn this as I entered my 20s and I am glad to say that I feel much wiser in regards to your statement. I’ve learned that just because a person acts “unordinary” or “strange” doesn’t mean they have always been this way. Circumstances have changed them. Life has changed them. Before, I wouldn’t dig deeper. I would go off of first glance and say, “That chick is crazy!” But now, I tend to think more about what brought them to this point. I learned that it’s not really about the “what,” it’s about the “why?” Why are they acting this way? Watching Iyanla: Fix My Life allows me to further confirm my new way of thinking in my mind. I can honestly say that I have never been abused in any of the ways you have mentioned, but I can understand why a person reacts to life differently because of such experiences. I am so glad that you are opening up even more Dolce and I’m sure you will inspire others who have been through the same!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I absolutely loved this comment. In regards to having consideration to others who act unordinary or strange is necessary because you DONT KNOW WHY someone is acting the way they are. And instead of judging them you should be compassionate and NICE because you don’t know what people have gone through or been through! Something I learned based on my own life and I’m glad I did.
      Whether she is money hungry or not that is not for society to decide. Again no one knows but her Nas and God. It’s not up to everyone to judge.
      Thanks for reading!

      Like

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