Part two: Why SHE won’t cuff you …

The bottom line is that we don’t got time for your games, the disappointment, the heartbreak, the up and down of emotions, nor the mental capacity to juggle you and our goals collectively.

The idea of being black is hard, now add being a woman to the equation. It gets even more difficult. I feel like naturally, we are at the bottom of the barrel so if we want to succeed we have to fight harder than anyone else does, and it says a lot about you if you’re fighting for what you want, going that extra mile every day, even through mental and spiritual breakdowns to ultimately live that extraordinary life.ddbf974ddddb03d4187ce4128eb7f260--joanne-the-scammer-relatable-posts.jpg

 The life I live maybe basic but the life I’m fighting for is far from it. I’m shedding my old skin to welcome the new one, and in between, I’m fighting my old habits getting prepared for what I asked for.

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Most women, most black women, have gone through a lot more than most can imagine. Anywhere from mental abuse, physical or sexual, discrimination, belittlement, and abandonment, the list really goes on and on. But the point is; is that when we go to love on a man, preferably a black man, we want that initial intention, LOVE. What some, (not all of us) get in return is a broken heart and an additional void. We get all involved for men to play us like we’re one of they damn video games. We extend enormous amounts of love and support where in some instances or areas we lack for ourselves.

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2016 was the storm, 2017 was dealing with the aftermath and 2018 is the breakthrough, the rebirth of a solidified, conscious, strong-minded woman and frankly, we don’t have the time, nor energy to waste on a scrub.

Most women I come across that are in the process of setting the foundation for their success and they think the same way too. We’ve endured the storm and then some, we want mental and spiritual peace, we want to accomplish our goals, we want what the fuck we deserve POINT BLANK.

Let me tell you why we won’t cuff you.

1.) We TIRED

We’re tired of the same old same old. WE WANT LONGEVITY. We want love outside of the ordinary, we want what the fuck we give you. Apply the 50/50 rule, go hard for me like I do for you. Pick me up in areas that I’m lacking, don’t just fuck me and expect me to fix the both of us.

2.) You’re too emotionally and mentally broken

We may be already dealing with our own voids, struggles etc, and the notion of dealing with my problems AND yours is too much to bare. Additionally knowing that the end result is getting mistreated, belittled, disrespected, lied to or hurt. We aren’t even breaking even. At least with us, if you are dealing with a broken woman she is STILL offering something worth your while, even through her brokenness. Because that’s just how strong we really are.

3.) You’re a hoe

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Men are always so quick to call us hoes but are always the ones who brag about body counts lol. Anywho, you a hoe and we don’t want to deal with a man who can’t commit. I don’t want to worry about other women getting the opportunity to lay up with you or fuck you. Sadly, most millennials have sex WITHOUT CONDOMS and if you are then you also have to worry about catching something. Ideally, we want you to ourselves but you out there slanging and it just ain’t cool.

4.) You’re not self-sufficient 

I know personally I can’t date a bum, although there are some women who look past that, but I can’t. Obviously, it depends on the circumstances but look, you have to be driven, motivated and implementing that every day, I need to be seeing some sort of effort. No career, no car, no education, no goals, no hustle = WE GOT NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. I need my man to be bringing something to the table and if he can’t financially, he better be in other areas.

5.) You’re overly into me, or OBSESSED. 

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Ok, more than likely I’m instantly turned off. I don’t want or need no psychotic love. I need to know that you don’t need me you WANT ME. It’s sexier that way…

6.) You’re controlling 

If I start to feel like I can’t live my life how I was living before you (of course in a way respectful of the relationship) I don’t want it. That goes for trying to taking me away from my friends/ family or trying to control my views or preferences. Outside of a relationship, I’m still my own woman and should be able to think and move as so. Controlling is one thing, respecting boundaries is another…

7.) You’re not fully grown

I want a man. Not a boy. If we can’t vibe on a mature level it’s a wrap. I’m not in it for the goofy shit 24/7. I need to know that you can keep up with me and act accordingly when the time comes. I also need to know that if a situation arises you can hold it down and take care of me, most women want to feel secure and protected around their man and if you can’t deliver then we have a problem.

8.) Your eggplant is a really a Vienna sausage…

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For most women that love sex, this would be an issue lol. YOU CAN’T KNOCK THEM WALLS !!!!!!

Everybody is different but again, if you love sex you want DEEP, LONG strokes… Look Y’all know…

9.) You’re UGLY AND NOT FUNNY

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Lol sorry, but I’m being real. If you ugly you better be funny AND have a great level of confidence. It’s already bad enough that I’m dating a man outside of my caliber and on top of that your personality sucks? It’s a lose-lose situation bro.

10.) You’re cheap

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Turn off.

If you’re just getting to know me how you gonna be cheap? First of all sir, I like to eat.

Lol

No really though, first date and you asking me to split the bill? I don’t have a problem doing it but its like damn, the first date though lol. The first impression means everything.

If you really like me you would wow me like any woman would want. Gifts, dinner, shopping and such. Ladies, when the last time you met a man and he said: “Here bae, go get your nails and feet done.”

WHEN?

Fellas take some notes lol.


Like I was saying earlier, 2018 is the year that us as women breakthrough. 2018 is the year of healing for us, the year of mental and spiritual awareness, the year of elevation. THEREFORE, WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR GAMES.

We tried to extend love, it was not being reciprocated though, now it’s OUR TIME. TIME TO FOCUS ON US AND ONLY US. TIME TO LOVE OURSELVES. TIME TO BE WHO THE FUCK WE WANT TO BE WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTION!

So, that’s why we don’t want to cuff you. We tired of giving and not receiving, for now, we’re going to have to like you from a distance or nothing at all.

*Images provided by Google
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18 thoughts on “Part two: Why SHE won’t cuff you …

  1. YEP LADIES HAVING YOUR OWN STUFF WHEN DEALING WITH A MAN IS VERY WISE CAUSE THEY MAY SAY A TODAY AND B 2MORROW. YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND STRENGTH YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD!!!!😃#referbymysisterbobbi

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dolceeeee! This is truly A WORD.

    I fell out after, “First of all, I like to eat.” I’ve never felt so understood in my life. 😂😂😂

    I’m expensive and I take very good care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. Relationships tend to offer counterproductivity to my being so for now, I think it’s best I just remain single until I start attracting a mate on the level I need him to be on.

    I appreciate this post so much. I now understand the duality of “Why He Won’t Cuff You.” 😉

    Dom
    http://www.DivaNamedDom.com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Whoooooh! #4 and #7! I have said many of these things time and time again, but #4 and #7 are the issues that I have noticed the most when it comes to men. What these men don’t understand is that they have to bring something to the table. I need you to add to what I got, not subtract from it. I can do that all by myself which I am not willing to do because that would just be stupid. So what do I look like by ALLOWING you to come into my life and take away from all that I have worked hard for? Tuh, not on my watch! ⌚ I always say that when it comes to relationships, make sure you are complete (100%) when you enter into one. Don’t look for your other half, look for your other whole. That way if things don’t work out and he chooses to walk away, you won’t feel like you need to get him back because 50% of you has left the building. What I mean by that is some females act as if they cannot function without “him.” Have your priorities straight before entering into a relationship and know before you enter into one that things just might not work out. Remember that there are no guarantees. Women should always try to keep themselves in a position to where if he walks, it may hurt but you will still be able to stand up on your two feet and keep it pushing. Don’t let his absence affect your presence. Don’t make yourself feel like you lost your identity just because he is no longer in your life. We need to stop giving these men the benefit of the doubt and make them work for what they want. An ultimatum or two wouldn’t hurt either. If they can’t abide by that, then…ahem…the door! 👉🏽🚪That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be open-minded about what they want too. This only means that we are not about to just put up with anything. Smh…I could go on and on! 😄 2018 is our year! 🙌🏽😃 You made some really good points! Great job Dolce!

    Liked by 2 people

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