You like him… he likes you… but he won’t cuff you.

You’re confused because things are good, you have good times, good sex and a cool bond. You feel as though you are the whole package, how could he pass you up right?

Maybe there was a reason you got passed up. Let’s be real. It’s always them, never us, right?

Looking back I can say I used to play the victim, putting everything on the other person but forgetting I played a part in allowing whatever was happening to me. How can you be mad at someone for not responding to you in a timely fashion or talking to someone else when you don’t have a title yet? That person is free to do what they want without answering you REGARDLESS of your “bond.” Some feel entitled once they give the person they are messing around with the goods but no, it doesn’t work like that.

If you wanted rules and regulations you should have laid that foundation down first instead of getting intimate and thinking him respecting your feelings was a requirement because you gave him some.I once thought like this but it’s not reality. Our generation somehow someway got screwed and for the people out there like me, lovers by nature and what you would call an “old soul”… it hits us HARD. Situation ships are tricky and not for everyone so you should definitely move accordingly and deal with what your heart can handle.

I find zero comfort in most people these days, they lie, have no consistency, front on you and try to come back in yo life like everything is everything.
pic blog

Millennial’s lucked out on real love, we got scammed by the educational system and played by our employers. I know older folks probably look at us like we’re crazy but they don’t understand how hard we really got it.

We may appear to be unstable, confused, and lost (even though most of us are lol) we are simply receiving what life gives us. I have 2 different guys pick me up throughout the week because I can’t put my trust in these dudes. I don’t want to, but I feel like I have to because I’m not fit to be played 🙂 I go back and forth between career choices because I’m sincerely stuck between my passion and making fast money. And in all, I lack the motivation I need because of all that I have to juggle as an independent woman…I’m tiad.

bob blog

It’s hard being a millennial, our relationships/ situation-ships are a pure JOKE and a HEADACHE to deal with. I feel many women are leaded on by men and how they treat us initially but that’s mainly because the majority of them only want SEX in the first place.

I’m sure most women have experienced the “swindle” you know when they’re really nice to you in the beginning and then after they get what they want, (and what they intended to get) they start acting different, or things start changing?

Now let’s ask ourselves, did we allow that? Because more times out of none you probably did…

Yes, the feeling is mutual that you both take interest in each other but did he give you the indication initially that he even wanted you in that way? You jumped off the vibes enjoying what he was giving you and came to your own conclusion about your status or where Y’all was headed in the future. Meanwhile Y’all never even had a future… He wanted sex and you wanted love…


I made this mistake before and I’ve witness friends go through the same. In the beginning, you need to make sure the both of you are on the same page before you get your feelings all wrapped up in him, avoid playing yourself. At least if you know, you won’t be going out your way and wasting your time on something that will never be.


Now let’s go down the detailed list of: WHY HE won’t CUFF YOU.


Here’s a couple of reasons why the guy you like and will do just about anything for won’t cuff you.



Nothing more nothing less. You decided to let him in and kept going thinking something would arise from it and he’d fall in love with you somewhere down the line off the strength of your pretty face and good box. Put an end to your false hope and wake up. His actions speak more than his words.

2.) You’re a NAG
MEN DO NOT LIKE THIS. They hate when you bitch and complain about stupid stuff. They’d rather you be easier going, cool calm and collective. Make him actually want to be around you…

3.) You don’t let him breathe/ your broken and or needy
MEN definitely hate this. More times out of none I didn’t even realize how needy I was actually being. I was hurt, broken and needing love. Not all women are the same but most want to be loved on, paid attention to, and really be your number ONE. I made mistakes of smothering people, always calling, texting and demanding that you keep me company lol. Don’t do that…

Give him some room, allow him to recognize that he can go out if he wants and doesn’t have to worry about you throwing a fit every time. Call him but don’t keep calling ALL DAY. DO NOT double text, triple text none of that. If he likes you enough, he will reply when he’s available.

49575105-the-woman-is-crying-and-waiting-for-a-call-pop-art-retro-style-love-fellowship-suffering-romantic-re (1).jpg

4.) Your mixy and don’t know what you want
You’re in and out of relationships within a short time, you’re always going out and not making things happen for yourself in a productive way.

No man of standards wants to cuff a girl that’s mixy or lacks class. And definitely not if he’s giving you play and you’re not taking it in due time. Don’t confuse him, once he starts to show interest, if you want him let it be known and if you’re not ready to tell him, because when you are ready he might not want you then 🙂

4.) You don’t have anything going for yourself. No goals no drive 🚫

Nobody wants anybody that’s an opportunist. If you don’t got the opportunity yet, do you at least have the drive and ambition behind it? Be involved in your own success be drowning in your subconscious, at least have a stable vision. Be bringing something to the table. Give him something to believe in. ✨

5.) You’re giving him too much too soon

My mistake was offering too much to people who didn’t deserve it too soon. In one situation I was basically playing a housewife while I was still a girlfriend. Naturally, I was like that, nurturing, loving and passionate. What I learned is that you need to give men something to look forward too. You don’t need to give everything away at once. If he feels like he can get sex, good home cooked meals, company, favors etc out of you in the early stages of you two “talking” or whatever why would he need to cuff you? He doesn’t have to work for it, you gave it to him effortlessly. He can get a little bit of what you’re offering and still have a girlfriend or another side chick. He gets the best of both worlds 🌍 🙃


6.) Your personality sucks 👎🏽
If your personality sucks more than likely it’s over, unless you got good box. He might entertain you, but he probably won’t bring you home. Who wants a woman with a nasty attitude, bitchy, stuck up, ditzy, ignorant or naive? No one. If you gotta work on you, do that.

7.) Your box is trash 🐱 🗑


BIG NO. IF YOU HAVE WEAK PUMS ITS OVERRRRRRRR. GUYS LOVE SEX. So if he can’t enjoy your most prized possession, its a wrap! My boyfriend actually told me if my box was trash when he met me he probably wouldn’t have kept talking to me. Most people will not entertain a relationship where they cannot be sexually stimulated by their partner.

8.) You have too many baby fathers 👨‍👧👨‍👧

One baby father ok… two, you’re pushing it. Three you might be out sis. Depending on the guy of course, but the majority probably won’t take you seriously. He might look at you as “easy” like you let anyone buss in you. Additionally, he’ll be put in a position where 2-3 other men are in your life especially if your baby fathers are in present in your kid’s life. Most millennial men are young and don’t want that responsibility either way.

9.) You’re not trust worthy and sneaky

If you’re being sneaky your probably a liar too, that’s an indication your hiding something. If a guy is just meeting you and you start moving sneakily, he’ll take that into consideration while making the decision whether he’s going to cuff you or just fuck you. You might be having sex with other men, you might be mixy or you might be in a relationship/ situation-ship. If he does like you but feels like he’s an option, you might become an option too.

10.) You’re too friendly

Lastly, if you’re too friendly to other men, and especially his friends he might get turned off. No man wants a girl that gives every man play. So if cuffing is the goal keep that in mind. CURVE EVERY DUDE AT EVERY ANGLE. Make him want you by letting him know he’s the ONLY one you want!

As women, we need to start taking some responsibility for our actions. I’m not choosing a side, just simply noting that all parties involved play a part. Men always get the title that they aren’t shit but we condone the shit!

Go into your situation ships/ relationships consciously aware of your PERSONALITY, STANDARDS, FEELINGS and ultimately WHAT YOU WANT. Don’t “see where it goes” address what you want and make it known that you want to be cuffed. Don’t waste time on someone that does not want what you want, if that’s the case, leave it alone and go BE SINGLE.

*Images provided by Google

17 thoughts on “WHY HE WONT CUFF YOU

  1. You got this down to a science lol. Everything you said was accurate
    Especially number 2 and number 3
    Number 7 is the only one that’s not really a big deal to me though. The sex being trash is annoying but I wouldn’t allow that to be a major factor nobody is perfect
    This blog was very well written and keep up the good work

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not one sided. Yes I am all for women empowerment but it doesn’t stop there. I’m a realist and it’s important to speak on our faults just as fast as we can fault men. Understanding where you need improvement is major key in your growth. Major part of empowerment 🙂


  3. Yiiiiiikes… feminist Dom is about to hit everyone with the unpopular opinion.

    I don’t think any of these issues predominantly effect women; men have their own ways of dishonesty, projecting, and insecurity as well—they just show it differently.

    I believe in female empowerment for the sake of us being empowered for ourselves, not necessarily for a man’s consumption. My early 20s I spent trying to box myself in; bogged down by critiquing myself based on these trivial details when I should have been working on loving and trusting myself.

    Just like he has a wish list of attributes in a mate, so do I. I used to bend and flex to accommodate my partner’s shortcomings and not stay true to myself. When I am not confident in how I feel, it’s hard for me to make decisions honoring myself. There is nothing sexier than a woman of her word.

    I do my thing, the men will come. But then and only then.

    Dom | http://www.DivaNamedDom.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol. Bare with it, part 2 is its on its way “Why SHE won’t cuff you”

      The purpose of this blog was to empower women in a unique, more defined way. Relatively I’m specifically speaking about a woman liking a man, indulging in him fully when he has not done the same. You’re giving more of yourself and he has given the bare minimum. That’s what’s not ok and that’s what I speak about in this post.

      These issues definitely absolutely effect women, my self, my friends and my peers so I am speaking on behalf of the women who’ve experienced this.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yessssssss friend… You taking right.. We living in a text where begin a side chick is number one.. Thank you for breaking this down ladies need to read this…. GO D GO D Keep it up..

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Your generation hasn’t missed out on anything. They just have more options now. My generation would be doing the same thing if those options were available to us back-in-the-day. But people still meet, hang out, and get to know each other the “organic” way.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 So many of us females claim to be “wifey” material, but really denounce ourselves as side chicks. We got to do better. It’s just like you said, “All parties involved play a part.” Us women need to realize that it is not ALWAYS men; it’s out fault too. Get your feelings out in the beginning and ask questions to see how he feels. Let him know what you will tolerate and what you won’t. Be open to find out what he wants from you as well. Later on down the road if he doesn’t abide by what he said he would do, then WALK. That way he can’t say he didn’t know and you can’t say that you didn’t tell him. Keep ’em coming Dolce! Good job!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 So many of us females claim to be “wifey” material, but really denounce ourselves as side chicks. We got to do better. It’s just like you said, “All parties involved play a part.” Us women need to realize that it is not ALWAYS men; it’s out fault too. Get your feelings out in the beginning and ask questions to see how he feels. Let him know what you will tolerate and what you won’t. Be open to find out what he wants from you as well. Later on down the road if he doesn’t abide by what he said he would do, then WALK. That way he can’t say he didn’t know and you can’t say that you didn’t tell him. Keep ’em coming Dolce! Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s